I have ambitions. I want to write one of the Great Works; the century works. Something that lasts, like Paradise Lost, or Don Quixote or Blondie by Lester Bangs. What you are now reading is not my ambition. This is a shitpost on the internet about video games journalism. Which begs the question: how, exactly,…
Category: Essay
The New Frontiers
The TSA man is looking serious. “Sir, we’ve detected some trouble spots. We’re going to have to pat you down.” He points to a screen beside the body scanner, displaying a little cartoon of the human body. Red exclamations points are clustered around its dick and ass. This representation, I know, is tied to my dick — my ass. I agree with the machine. They’re trouble.
The Border
I keep finding myself in machine conversations; endless and repetitive. Message boards and podcasts talking past each other through the wet mechanisms of human throats. Movies are bad, music is bad, the economy is bad, the government is evil, nobody reads books, nobody cares, nothing counts. I feel responsible. I spent years turning online cynicism…
The First Letterboxd Review of Frazzledrip
https://letterboxd.com/blob_dylan/film/frazzledrip/ “Dr. Jolly,” I hear you ask, “this movie does not exist. How, then, can you hope to review it?” My answer must begin by addressing the nature of existence as it applies to films. Film, as we know, is an illusion. It is series of still photographs replayed in sequence and with sufficient speed…
2024: Year of the Chud?
When I typed the title in “chud” autocorrected to “chad.” Which, in my opinion, justifies the question mark. Got sick this week. Fever, stomach problems. I think it was food poisoning. Bad ham, perhaps. I’ve been living off of Christmas leftovers since the 23rd of last month. It ended up being productive, though. I was…
Notes On Midcore
Am I the smartest man in the world? Based on the fact that I can sometimes read the sex sounds in hentai without consulting a Japanese-English dictionary, the answer is “maybe.” But based on the fact that I’m intensely in debt for a degree I use to write internet shitposts and have the future earning…
I Wish I Could Write You a Simple Love Song, but the World Keeps Falling Apart
My subject today is omnipresent and elusive: a spirit. I have seen flashes of it in the firehose torrent of noises-words-pictures under which I live. My firehose is not your firehose, however, so it is possible that the spirit I hope to investigate is a more of a hologram projected by my tastes than a…
The Superhero In American Commercial Mythology
There is a wrenching feeling that comes with writing on this topic; a natural revulsion. The sources of this anxiety, I believe, are twofold: first, bombastic treatments of the superhero as “American mythology” produce a second-hand teeth-gritting embarrassment. The open praise and acceptance of commercial culture never ages well and almost always makes the author…
Bradbury’s Body
I’ve been reading short stories because I’ve been writing short stories. I’d like to get better at it. Thus: Ray Bradbury. I’ve never “liked” Ray Bradbury. Explaining why requires a painful admission about the reason that I like things to begin with. Maybe it’s a product of my generational position, I don’t know, but when…
The Terror Of
I still drive by, sometimes. It’s a spot in a ratty shopping center at the intersection of Ingram and Callahan, a few blocks down from the street I grew up on. Who knows what it is now: the super mercado? The pay-as-you go cell phone shop? The payday loan place with the sign that looks…